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Margaret Barton, affectionately known as Aunt Bertha by those close to her, has reached the remarkable age of 99. Her life story is a rich tapestry of experiences, resilience, and warmth that continues to inspire everyone around her. This post explores the life of Margaret, highlighting the moments that shaped her and the lessons she offers to younger generations. This photograph shows just how many relatives she has lost to the enemy of death. Her mother Josephine, her fathe

Genuine blessings are the times when my mother feels youthful once more. Those days when simple thoughts bring her joy. Watching her toss her long gray hair over her shoulder and flash the most beautiful smile fills me with happiness. These moments are rare, but when they happen, they are gifts from Jehovah. The Almighty knows precisely what we need and when we need it to continue our journey. Today, she managed to do laundry, make her bed with fresh linens, and even sit with

If you are currently a caregiver, you understand the importance of equipping your loved one's space with safety, health, and helpful items. For example, a bed rail can make falling out of bed less severe, if not impossible. An extra-large clock with the ability to set alerts for medication times, meals, appointments, and even religious services can be invaluable. Even a gadget that keeps the television remote in one place is quite necessary. Today, I found a new item that I q

Teens eagerly anticipate summer vacation from school, and rightfully so. We have organized several trips over the years, but have never been able to enjoy them because Mom has been affected by dementia. She likes the idea of getting away, but leaving the house becomes too daunting, especially on the day of departure. This is a major letdown for the girls, even though we try to compensate with five or six short day trips. They are wonderful kids and usually cooperate with us.

I start my day by gently knocking on my mother's bedroom door and opening it while saying, "Good morning, Mother. How did you sleep?" However, this morning, I was surprised to find her already up, dressed, and eager for breakfast. This lifted my spirits, and I was ready to prepare her breakfast while she brewed her coffee. I was delighted to make her a couple of pieces of French toast, just the way she taught me. Mix milk, egg, and vanilla extract, then stir vigorously. Dip a

I glance at my clock and notice it's 2:45 a.m. I hear the raindrops splashing against my bedroom window. Due to the weather report, I know it's freezing rain. The wind blows steadily through the trees. My body feels the aches from the winter's chill. As I switch on my bedside light, I wonder if my mother is sleeping comfortably or if she's also awake, with aching joints, feeling uncomfortable, and wondering how long the storm will continue. It would only take a few minutes fo

Recently, I've come to realize that I no longer have a place in my mother's life, as dementia has mercilessly overtaken her mind. This is the Illness Factor: the force that operates over time, ignoring the rules or principles that govern behavior, uphold order, and act as a form of protection. There is no method to expertly handle this illness. No one can halt its progression, alleviate the daily pain, or demand its disappearance. The beautiful memories that once lit up her

The family has needs that will not go away just because there is a person with dementia in the home. Spouses need fundamental elements like communication, trust, respect, and commitment, alongside emotional support, affection (physical touch), appreciation, and companionship to feel seen and valued . They also need practical support (domestic help, financial stability), shared goals, and an environment of safety and security to thrive, creating a partnership that supports

There are many books and advice columns for caregivers but none of them can capture the emotional pull to the depths that occur or how often a caregiver will need to deal with them. A dementia patient has little to no control over their thoughts, enotions, anquish or decisons. It can be easy, a laugh here and there, or difficult with yelling and what comes across like hatred. I have learned to forget those harsh moments almost immediately because those moments are not hea

Today was the hardest of all days being a caregiver.  Today I explained to my mother that she had dementia.  It was very difficult.  Yes, it hurt both of us.  She took my hand in hers and looked deep into my eyes.  Tears came to her face and her lip began to quiver.  My words could not have been said with any more concern or sincerity.  Could it have been left unsaid?  Maybe.  However, I promised her years prior that if she was ever facing a severe operation, a serious health